Pain of Rejection
by Ashira-chan
Summary: ON HIATUS Sasuke betrays Konoha once again, but later on returns to his beloved village. As time passes by, he realizes that he loves Sakura. Will Sakura accept him once again? SasuSaku


At last, after long days of journey from the Sound, I have finally arrived in Konoha. I felt dizzy; probably because of the fight between me and Itachi. I was clad in a black high-collared shirt with the Uchiha emblem on its back together with long black pants. My Konoha forehead protector was tied loosely on my head. Full of bloody wounds and scratches, I walked wearily to the gates of Konoha. I found a lone bench placed near the gates of Konoha. With my weary body being barely able to stand up, I decided to sit on the bench I found. Fortunately, no one in particular was there. _Great. _I thought, finally finding a chance to be alone.

The wind ran over my hair together with the dancing leaves. Indeed, I was in solitude. Finally, after three days of walking from the Sound, I have returned in my hometown but not sure on what to do in Konoha.

Then I heard a sound of metal falling. I realized that my forehead protector fell from my forehead; the side where the Konoha symbol is engraved was facing me. I set a glance at the Leaf symbol and picked up the forehead protector expressionlessly. I stared at the forehead protector and cursed myself for being a traitor.

I regret all of the bad things I have done for my village. This was the place where I was born and the place of my clan, the Uchiha clan. But then again, this was the place where most of the happenings took place. Most of those happenings eventually became memories.

_Memories._

Something struck my mind as I looked at the melancholy blue-gray sky, reminiscing at the memories of my life. Most of them were reminiscences that were bitter; so I wanted to erase them off my mind and heart. The Uchiha massacre, the return of my brother, the time when the devious fiend Orochimaru lured me just because of power—such memories were aching, they were sharp swords being stabbed to my heart—a heart with an icy and cold exterior, but a heart with a delicate and soft interior. I wore an emotionless and cold façade in every moment of my life. I only focus on obtaining power and setting revenge on Itachi and resurrecting the Uchiha clan, but…

My thoughts were disrupted when a flash of green and different shades of red flashed by my mind. Her angelic face and her smile filled with glee made me think of one name:

_Sakura. Haruno Sakura._

She was one of my friends, no, _best friends, _who cared for me—even at the darkest moments of my life. At first, I thought that she was merely and stupidly infatuated to me. But as time passed by, her mere infatuation to me gradually fades, but transforms into total love and devotion. She even confessed her undying love to me, but I was far too distracted on setting revenge and on having power…such reasons made me…

_Ignore her._

And I only gave her words of gratitude for some unknown reason. I never showed my feelings towards her. Her hapless pleads for me to return to Konoha ached my heart a lot, but…

_I ignored her._

Woe is me, for I didn't realize that I would need her! Now I have no one to talk to; I have no one to count on. Maybe that infamous adage was true; no one is an island.

I sighed, realizing that I have taken my time sitting on the low lonely bench, letting the fateful wind brush against my dark raven locks. I was staring at the sky with a hopeless face. Then I thought… What if…

_What if I return my shadowed feelings for her?_

I looked at my hand holding the forehead protector. I clenched the metal object tightly on my hand. Afterwards, I placed it back on my forehead, knotting the cloth tighter than it was before. I felt a deep surge of determination inside me. I stood up from the bench and determinedly walked to my _house_, never a _home_.

The days rolled by as I waited for the right moment to confess to her my innermost feelings. I love her; I admit it. Her smile can brighten up my day and melt the icy lining of my heart. I considered that moment a challenge; the greatest obstacle of my life. Whether that moment is accompanied with rain or shine, I won't mind. I have already engraved a promise on my heart; though promises are made to be broken, I'll never break my vow.

_Never._

_Cross my heart._

Then that day came. I thought, at least. My heart was beating more rapidly than usual for unknown reasons. Different emotions wanted to take over me: excitement, fear, and anxiousness.

I decided to stroll along Konoha. I walked blankly, passing an elegant cherry blossom tree, or as I would prefer to call it, a _Sakura tree._ I was shoving my hands in my pockets as usual and was wearing that unemotional and cold mask—a trademark Uchiha Sasuke gesture. I stared at the Sakura tree and began to appreciate its unique leaves. I touched its trunk and felt the delicate symmetry of a falling leaf.

The cherry-tinted petals reminded me of Sakura's joyful and cheery petal-colored hair, in marked contrast to my dark raven hair, which portrays darkness—the darkness of my life.

I walked alone on the verdant grass, which reminds me of Sakura's jaded orbs; at the first sight they look precious and delicate, but I soon realized that they too, have the determination and strength, only covered my a shimmering layer of sparkling happiness and glee.

Seconds ticked into minutes; minutes ticked into hours. I sighed sadly; nothing particularly interesting was going on today. And I thought that this is the day that I'm going to see Sakura and confess to her my feelings today. What else could love do? I guess I just can't predict my own future.

I sighed again and walked sadly back to my house, disappointed. I have expected much from this day, but my high expectations were merely met by cold winds and sad blue-gray clouds.

Halfway home, I sensed a familiar presence, or _chakra_, right behind me. I turned around and gulped—I saw _her_. Sakura. Haruno Sakura. Sakura was looking at the sky; staring at something. She has matured a lot. Her hair was longer than before and was neatly kept by her forehead protector; her hair on her face was longer than the locks behind her head. Her _hitai-ate_ or forehead protector is still placed on its usual position. She is wearing a jounin vest and her outfit has changed, but the red in her chemise has never faded away. She looks even stronger and more determined. But one thing bothers me—she doesn't possess that cheery smile anymore. She wore a blank expression—just like me when I was still in the academy. She has changed a lot. If her joyous smile is gone, does this have any sentimental meaning? Does this mean that there's nothing else that can melt the icy lining of my heart? Does this mean that my life will be forever incomplete? I feared that I will never see her again, so I decided to confess to her my feelings right now—right at this instant.

"S-Sakura?" I muttered, moving my hands uncomfortably.

The jounin turned her head towards my direction. She examined me thoroughly, looking at me from head to toe. "Hm? How'd you know my name?" she replied with an even and mature voice. Ah, her voice sounds like a wonderful sonata. Her harmonious voice tingled in my ears as I savored the moment of bliss. Long have I not heard her voice, and so I enjoyed hearing it. I went back to reality and found Sakura eyeing my Konoha forehead protector. "You _were_ a Konoha ninja, right?" she said, stressing out the word 'were'.

My eyes widened. Has she forgotten who I am? Or is she just uncertain of her thoughts?

"Of course, Sakura. How could you forget?" I replied, staring right at her angelic face.

Uncomfortable silence filled the spaces between us. The wind passed by, sending cherry blossom petals dancing in the sky. One petal landed on Sakura's head whilst one landed on mine as well.

She gave me a look. Then, she said one of the worst words I didn't want to hear. "Who are you?"

I felt like a part of me was shattered into pieces. _Is this a trick question or something?_ I thought worriedly. _Did she already forget me? Did she try and forced herself to forget me?_ Oh, how I desperately hoped that I was mistaken. I was hurt badly, hurt by _her_ words. Her _words_. By words alone! Does this mean that I have become vulnerable? Soon, I was in a pit of mixed emotions. I just stood there, not knowing on what to say.

I gulped and decided to end the uncomfortable silence. "S-Sakura…" I started, trembling. "It's me, Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. Don't you remember?"

Sakura lowered her head. "You mean one of the remaining Uchiha who betrayed his

village?" Her voice seems to be full of pain and anger.

I was startled. "W-wait Sakura, I-I can explain!" I called on with a helpless voice.

With that, her eyebrows creased. "What do you mean, you can explain! Explain what? Nothing! You just betrayed the village for the second time just for your own good! I tried with all my might to persuade you to return to our village but now what! Nothing! YOU'RE JUST A…" She raised her voice, tears forming on the edge of her eyes. "…TRAITOR WHO DOESN'T THINK ABOUT FOR THE ONES WHO CARED FOR HIM!" Her voice was full of indignation and anger. She must have tried her best to hide the wrath she was feeling when I was in the Sound.

I was taken aback, feeling guilt, sadness, and anger. I blamed myself for betraying the village for the second time. I set another glance at Sakura. Her face portrayed pain while tears fell from her jade eyes.

Sakura turned her back and looked at the opposite direction. She tried to walk away from me with clenched fists. I ran after her, taking her pale cream arms and held them firmly.

"Sakura, wait…"

She turned her head towards my direction again. Her clenched fists started to ease out. She looked straight into my eyes.

"Sakura, I loved you ever since I saw you. But all I was thinking about is setting revenge on Itachi and obtaining power. I'm sorry, Sakura. Because of power, I have betrayed Konoha—and you. I'm very sorry, Sakura. I hope you would forgive me…"

Sakura looked straight into my obsidian orbs. "Sasuke, if you thought that I would forgive you just because you love me, well, you got it wrong. I loved you too, but it was _before._ I'm not that fan girl who is always thinking about love, Sasuke. If you want to be forgiven for your betrayal to Konoha, then don't ask me. Ask the village to forgive you. I'm sorry, Sasuke… I don't love you anymore…"

My eyes widened as I was surprised by her words. I felt like my heart was crushed mercilessly and painfully. I felt like my heart was shattered into millions of tiny pieces. I tried my best not to cry, scream, and much less show emotion. I was choking, my throat is tightening. She doesn't love me anymore? What does this mean? Does this mean that she loves someone else now? And by the manner she addressed me; she doesn't call me 'Sasuke-kun' anymore. Before, when she called me 'Sasuke-kun', her words were usually accompanied with tender care, affection, and pure happiness and glee. Where is her warm ambiance? Is there nothing left of her except for that cold façade? Where is her love? Where is her joyous smile?

_Sakura…you have changed a lot…_

With this, Sakura walked away from me coldly, forcing my hands to let go of her arms. It seems that she is forcing herself on not to show emotion.

Then she spoke once more the words she has told me when we were fifteen, and when I tried to escape from Konoha—my beloved village.

"_Gomen nasai…Goodbye…"_

Whilst she walked away from me, I stood there, not knowing on what to do. _Is this the pain of rejection she has felt during the times when we were still Genin? Is this the kind of pain she has felt when I rejected her? When I told her before that she was annoying? This pain of rejection has wounded my heart deeply, worse than swords being stabbed to my heart, a heart with a cold exterior, but a heart with a delicate interior._

I walked home alone like a lone raven, clutching my aching chest as I went to sleep.

_**T**o **B**e **C**ontinued_


End file.
